"Fuck for the Future"

Smart Boris: Wondering why Bjorn Borg is my protector, comforter, and savior? (Yes, that's him on the right, playing ping pong.) Forget for a moment that he retired from tennis at 26, probably the single greatest player the sport has ever known; forget that he celebrated his retirement by overdosing on drugs, then by divorcing and then marrying and then divorcing an Italian pop star; forget that he attempted a comeback in 1991 at the desperately advanced age of 34, playing on an old wooden racket against the likes of Pete Sampras and Goran Ivanisevic; forget, if you can, his bankruptcy and beautiful golden hair.

Why do I consider Borg a prophet among sinners? Well, after transcending tennis, alienating his many wives, losing all his money, and nearly dying, he started an underwear company whose slogan is "Fuck for the Future." If you visit his website (http://www.bjornborg.com/en) and click on the "missions" icon, you will learn about his underwear ideology. He implores you,

"Join our struggle! Choose a warmonger, and we'll send him old "not sexy" underwear. When he gets showered with worn out and depressing underwear, he'll get the message, feel bad, and embrace peace."

He's serious, by the way. As of ten minutes ago, he has 23, 846 pairs of "not sexy" underwear waiting to be delivered to warmongers and world leaders. Click on the link, and you can have a pair sent to whomever you like. You can even donate your own unsexy underwear to the cause and have it used in the campaign for peace.

Seriously.

The man loves underwear. And he hates warmongers. Show me somebody more deserving of praise, and I'll show you a damned liar, a liar and a warmonger.

Watch as Bjorn Borg's fashion ninjas make their first delivery to George W. Bush: