Romancing the Stone

Koko: Clearly, George Orwell's prescience failed us. If he'd had any notion that this movie might someday exist, he would have stowed his Newspeak for more pressing concerns. Not that 1984 was all bad. On January 24, Apple sold its first Mac computer. The Brewers and White Sox played their epic 25-inning game over the 8th and 9th of May. In July, Walter Mondale earned his party's nomination for president, generously donating his reputation and livelihood to Mad Magazine. Also in July, a five-year-old Koko saw some very tall black guys running around at the opening of the Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. Ronald Reagan promised to "outlaw Russia" in August, and come November Cesar Chavez said a bunch of stuff about grapes. None of that matters, though, because on March 30, 1984, Robert Zemeckis postponed plans to send Michael J. Fox back through time to fuck his mother and not exist in order to drop Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Humpty Dumpty in a jungle to fight shifty military colonels, diamond-eating alligators, grimly dispersed chickens, and a whip-wielding munchkin who drives the hell out of his fiery red convertible. No shit. I can't wait for Marty McFly to meet his great-great-grandfather, Seamus McFly, who wears a bowler hat, talks a dandy gay brogue, and happens to be Marty McFly.