Death in Venice

Koko: Apparently, this is Tadzio, and even he was bored. It's not that I disliked the unnecessary two hours of beach photography, nor that I expected the young Polack to be a little more jailbait. What bothered me about this lavish mistake was its insistence that despite my preference for French little boys, not Polish ones, I am a duller, dreamier, thoroughly more bourgeois version of von Aschenbach, even though some idiot producer decided to turn him into Gustav Mahler for this intellectual farce. Well, I guess I am. I hate von everything. I hate myself.