Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Deadliest Warrior (season one)

Were I to describe its premise in words, I would commit a grave injustice, for then you would presume the show has meaning, or some quality, to which the words correspond. Instead, imagine "Deadliest Warrior" as a cosmic gasp:

Apache vs. Gladiator
Viking vs. Samurai
Spartan vs. Ninja
Pirate vs. Knight
Yakuza vs. Mafia
Green Beret vs. Spetsnaz
Shaolin Monk vs. Maori
William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu
IRA vs. Taliban

Every week, a tech geek, a bioengineer, or something, and an ER trauma surgeon assemble to test a handful of weapons, load data into a computer program, simulate a thousand battles between warriors, and crown one a winner. Why did no one think of this before? A.

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