Children of Men

How do non-thinking, clichéd, drab, preachy, violent action movies get confused for philosophical thought? Slothrop has no fucking idea. None. On Rotten Tomatoes, this monstrosity got a 92%! The following is the aggregate review: "Children of Men works on every level: as a violent chase thriller, a fantastical cautionary tale, and a sophisticated human drama about societies struggling to live. This taut and thought-provoking tale may not have the showy special effects normally found in movies of this genre, but you won't care one bit after the story kicks in, about a dystopic future where women can no longer conceive and hope lies within one woman who holds the key to humanity's survival. It will have you riveted." Now, just negate or inverse every last one of those claims and you've got something. I was gonna leave it at that, but I can't deny myself the pleasure. So: Children of Men fails on every level: partly because it's nothing more than a violent chase scene over and over again, an unimaginative, righteous cautionary tale, and a dumbed down sentimental comedy about societies who have no idea what living means. This over-long and brain numbing thing has way too many special angle shots and overly pyro-technical cinematography tricks and special effects which partly explains why you won't care about anything that happens to any of the characters who from the looks of it are incidental. Why the birth of a child portends to be the answer to humanity's dystopia is never addressed, save for that symbol of hope being rescued by, Slothrop shits you not, a boat called Tomorrow. It will leave you wishing you had poked your eyes out. D