Slothrop watched it. That's about all he can say, except maybe to add that Tom Cruise plays a douchebag. A bus conversation with Koko, however, reminded him that Vampires are unintelligible. So take Tom Cruise and Christian Slater and Brad Bitt, add a story that doesn't make sense plus "vampires", whatever the fuck they are and make a movie that is nineteen hours long and you have this... thing.
Koko: Why are all the decadent vampires French?
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