A Man and a Woman

Ass-Headed Bottom: First of all, gentle readers (Max? Still there?), allow me to apologize for my disappearance without trace. Actually, there were traces galore, but they led to Dallas, TX, so nobody was following me. A good cure for paranoia, it turns out: if you are afraid you are being followed, move to Dallas; even your own shadow will be like, "What the fuck?" Anyway, I have a multitude of movies to BS about, and this here's the most recent, a somehow sufferably French film, with numerous pros and cons; for instance:

a con: This is, in every regard, the kind of movie Slothrop would appreciate, probably even own.

a pro: The whole movie's gorgeous, so much so that Mssr. Lelouch doesn't even bother having his cameramen clean their lenses. "J'en ai rien a foutre," Lelouch exclaimed, since he knew full well that he had a gorgeous movie on his hands.

a con: Auto racing is only slightly more interesting in Europe than it is in the U. S. There isn't much difference between cars ending up where they started and ending up in Monte Carlo, and no amount of studio-engine-revving is going to make up for the stupefying dulness of watching someone else drive. No worries, though; it's boring as shit in Ben Hur too.

a pro: Man I wish I could make love like that. She's still unimpressed of course, but what an E+ he gets for effort!

a con: The original husband is clearly a retard, and wears a special retard-hat to identify himself as such (really he does). Only the populist scenes of Spartacus and the bike-riding douchebaggery in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are as humiliating to an otherwise good movie as the pastoral bullshit scenes in this one.

another con: I mentioned to my dad that I'd watched this. He told me that he and my mom had enjoyed the hell out of it back in 1967. Curiously, this information made me feel very old.

one last pro: Even my cynical heart got mushy at times. But never too mushy, since the retard in the hat always turns up with his sheep to keep me honest and chortling.