Donnie Brasco

Slothrop: Slothrop hearts Johnny. Also, that this is a true story makes me hold it in higher esteem than if it wasn't. I'm not sure what that says about the film as a film, mostly that it was fine, good. But the story is terrific and it lingers in its sadness and necessary cruelty. Not a subtle film, without the subtlety Slothrop finds in every episode of The Wire, but effective nonetheless. In unrelated news, Slothy officially sucks horkin' fiber chunks in Guitar Hero. Shameful shit for which he should get whacked.

Smart Boris: Don't you fret, Roppity 'Rop. I'll hire this dedicated Asian gamer to teach you to count beats by muttering One-two-One-two-One-two.
And if we ever need to play a song in triple meter, I'll find some other stereotype, maybe a sinewy Latin (pronounced La-tín), who will rupture your body and your soul with his jungle-inspired master strumming.

Slothrop: Like Ass-Head hee-hawing and braying, this picture offends Slothrop's delicate aesthetic sensibility.

Smart Boris: That's because he rocks you like a hurricane, and you prefer the arborial refuge of leafy trees and summer breezes. Hmph, Sinatra.