The Wire: Season Three

Koko: First off, frantic gesticulating sorries to Idris Elba for my mistaking Stringer Bell for just another ABA burnout. Clearly, he knows his market share models for, uh, margins or whatever. Second, wilder, pathologically shamed sorries to David Simon and Ed Burns for confusing the third season for whatever isn't super happy genius. When Slothrop and I first went to Hamsterdam, we looked at each other, shrugged, and waited for Prezbo to rescue us with his calculator and his unspellable name. God, were we wrong. We forgot all about the truckload of Dominicans and the unprimed lawnmower, and the what-in-God's-name-is-that golf club Marlo swings around at no one in particular, in the middle of the street, just because. We don't deserve to remember those perfect little person-building details. Next time, we'll save everyone the embarrassment and forget about ourselves instead. That, or pluck out our eyes, as Oedipus did, because nailing your mom and waxing your dad isn't half as terrible as overlooking the hardest part about being a cop: "having to explain to your wife why she has to take antibiotics for your kidney infection."

Slothrop: During this second run of Season 3 we also discover that Koko has the purest fondness for the former Mrs. McNulty, especially when she uses Jimmy, leaves him cold, gives him hope, breaks his heart, dates a suit, wears lots of pearls, looks like a witch and castrates men. According to Koko, and I quote, "Bourgeoisie women have the hardest gig in life and deserve the most compassion. It's brutal getting a mere couple thousand in alimony each week from a police officer when his replacement only makes $475,000." When pressed by Slothrop to explain her ice-stare that cracked a movie camera during shooting and set David Simon back a few grand, Koko suggested that it's clear the camera was at fault and that David Simon probably deserved everything coming to his shoddy equipment. She also grunted something about how handsome Stringer Bell looks in a tuxedo and bow-tie.

Koko: Damn, Slothrop, that's some Scott Templeton shit right there. You fishing for a Pulitzer?