The Big Lebowski

Slothrop: The only thing Slothrop can think to say is that he would not exisit without this film. Since he doesn't exist anyway, it makes perfect sense that it makes no sense at all. This is serious. Picture your life not having seen The Big Lebowski. Either your head just twirled around and around and popped, or your heart exploded, or your cock fell off. How do you explain the world without recourse to The Dude, Walter, and Donnie? Think about this. What does the world mean without this movie? I'm not making any sense. I'm so sorry. Ok. Picture living back in the day when people thought the world was flat. This was good. Then all of a sudden the world is round. Thing is, it was easy to think of the world as flat, still, anyway. Makes more sense. But see the The Big Lebowski and hypothetically try to unsee it. Impossible, can't be fucking done. Like, say, you're arguing with Ass-Head and he's saying something preposterous. Not having seen this film you can't say "What the fuck are you talking about!!!??" or model your counterattack to his sophistry with pure logos: "I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a beer. He's not taking your fucking turn." Without The Big Lebowski, the world is round and gravity has not been invented yet. Neither has God: "What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby! " There's a movie, sometimes, for its time and place. Fits right in there. The Big Lebowski has the largest cinematic cock I've ever had the fantasy of fellating.